Sunday, August 21, 2005

and she does

visual metaphors for ambiguity and fluidity
open up for viewer
questions of the space of looking
open up places of uncertainty
dreams like dreaming of tomatoes
like writing a letter, " I am adrift"
like opening a dream, I was that woman

what is it that I am afraid of, about loss- that is the key to my work

image breaking up and losing physical
and she does

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

patience smatience, but the color blue

Today I am having trouble being patient. Really, this probably means that I need to go swimming, do yoga…something to calm down. Instead I am dilly-dallying on my computer. Maybe I should do some jumping jacks soon.

Last night I thought I was heating up water in the teakettle, but there was no water in the pot. I took the scorched teapot to the sink, with the intent of filling it up, and by gee golly, I burned my left-hand middle finger- a steam burn! I should have thought this through, especially since I was talking science like stuff at dinner with Abby Paske and Kester Allen. Alas, my thought process was checked out. Today I have a water boil bump the size of a mini mountain. Gross. Well, it is going to be gross when it pops.

When oh when will it pop, what will I be doing, how will it pop, will it hurt?

Sometimes I dislike not knowing… some days I retain and nurture my control tendencies. This has not happened for a while, but something is in the air this week.

Patience rhymes with smatience, That is my song today, "patience smatience! - patience smatience! - oh - la- la- la"

I want to go on a trip in Nov and Dec, but everything at work is up in the air until next week, so I have to wait to figure it out. Waiting. Wait. That is the real tune behind my song for the day. I do not like waiting. That is part of why I do not like airports or plane rides. But I love working on a film for 1 year.

Campbell told me last week that blue is our default color and it also had something to do with why we see the sky as blue. I made AP and KA explain this to me. We decided that one- blue is the easiest color for us to see (a science thing) and two- in our eyes, the blue receptors are the most sensitive. Which came first the blue sky or our sensitivity to blue?

Blue is the color is infinite possibility.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

made up word again: hilario


like hilarious but even better bc it can be something you say to your friend like a code word, or just as crack me up, not the pressure of being comic hilarious, but, you know.

when i first used it with jas, she had her own version- hilarity...but now when she needs to say the same to me, she says, yeah, it was hilario!

i wish you all some hilario in your life.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

it all will fall right into place

i have been inspired by summi, neela and aysha and hence here i am, blogging.

i am listening to a song that is telling that it all will fall, right into place. i do believe it.

my mom keeps trying to make it a rule that i call her every two days (and she will also follow the rule and do that same for her mom). i do like to follow rules. well, most of them. this is something funny i have discovered about myself. like for example, if it is a rule not to use a certain tripod with a certain camera bc it is potentially dangerous, i will not do it. ok, see, i am not as much a rule follower, just really into being practical. prior to this time, i have resisted my moms made up rule, but lately, i really do not mind. it is the least i can do, if that means she feels i love her when i make a simple call.

so what else is falling into place. everything! even the things i do not know about and the things that have not yet fallen into place.

see, i am starting to believe in the universe and the power of my heart and soul again. if i am sincere and true to myself and kind, then it will ripple in the universe.

joe- he owns and runs the corner store down the street. he is always so kind, yes, he has aura that blows the roof off. so many people go into his store and he is so pleasant to interact with. i think he adds goodness to our little strand of 20th street.

zabeen- the made of word of last year; i believe in making up words

Zabeen \zaa bean/ vb (adj)

1. Starts off like a could’ve been, in the sense of wistfulness. Maybe. But better described by this anecdote: “Someone once described to me the Portuguese word ‘Saudade’ – she said it meant to miss someone. Not just to miss someone, but more. Like when you are at the train station and the someone you love is on the train."

2. The moment before a departure when you miss someone like you may never see them again.

3. A word best described by the above metaphorical anecdotes.

4. A verb (that you can make into an adjective). A complex emotion in relation to someone.

vb. when I saw you I felt zabeen (towards you).

Adj. ---fill in the blank-----

New ways to use Zabeen:

When you are on the phone with someone you love (friend, family, lover), and you are about to hang up….”oh, zabeen already!”


To someone you are very fond of and use of zabeen frequently in your dialogues…. “hi, zabeen!, …..”